IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
