I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
