I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
