They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize