miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
