awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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