in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
