garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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