Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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