So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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