well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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