Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
