i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
