Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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