i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
