jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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