I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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