so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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