Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize