no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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