I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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