discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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