Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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