and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
