Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
