he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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