last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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