Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
