She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
