I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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