I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pants are for mortals
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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