I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
