im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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