sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
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He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize