You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
