I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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