he wants to bone in the snuggie
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.