The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"