So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
