Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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