Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
