I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
