We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
