so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
