I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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