This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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