we're blogging at a bar
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
