I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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