perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
