OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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