HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
