Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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