I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Can I color on your dick again?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
