We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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