is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
