this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
