we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
