worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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