Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
