During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
