If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
