I want to walk on stilts...naked
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
